In Searching of the Miraculous

Al Wāḥid - Al Kathra - Al Waḥda

Within the quiet orchard of Heart,

Tallying the whispers not spoken, but felt.

Oh the tender vibration of every beat, reminding “I” again and again.

We fled the old fields of honest toil,

Warding off loss by clinging to dust.

Yet a single aim—the ripening of Being—remains.

Listen: in that hush, in between I and You, a tender dawn unfurls—

Beyond the thorn of word and scroll, a fragrant truth:

The sweet fruit of remembrance dripping ancient honey,

All appearing ever so different yet remaining actors in this Divine Hive.

Hunger no more, tasting what has been carried inside,

This stillness- the softness of home, the Trinity - For I, You, & God reside.

Āmīn - Tathāstu - Sādhu - Sōðlīċe

"Tawakkul 'ala Allah" - trust in God. This simple yet profound phrase has become a guiding principle on my spiritual path over the years, encapsulating the delicate balance between surrendering to the divine will and actively participating in one's own growth and transformation. 

In recent times, I have found myself consumed by a deep yearning, an almost insatiable hunger for a direct encounter with the miraculous. This longing goes beyond mere curiosity or a desire for novel experiences; it is a soul-deep ache to touch something real and transformative, an experience that shatters the illusion of the separate self and reveals the underlying unity of all existence.

The Dark Night of the Soul

As I reflect on my journey thus far, a clear pattern emerges - the most profound awakenings and transformations often come disguised as life's greatest challenges and heartbreaks. It was during a period of intense personal crisis, a "dark night of the soul" in which my very identity had been fragmented, that I began to catch glimpses of the deeper currents of reality.  

In the midst of that excruciating passage, my initial impulse was to run, to find some way to escape the pain and discomfort that felt so unbearable. Like many seekers, I fell into the trap of spiritual bypassing, attempting to circumvent the necessary friction and discomfort that acts as a catalyst for genuine growth. I wanted the fruits of spiritual realization without being willing to fully embrace the process. How lazy, insincere, and misguided my efforts were.

However, even in my most desperate moments, there were glimmers of grace, subtle whispers of a deeper intelligence at work. Slowly, I began to recognize that my suffering was not some cosmic mistake or punishment, but a fierce and uncompromising invitation to surrender, to let go of my tenacious grip on a fixed sense of self and identity.

The Power of Community

It was in this state of raw openness and vulnerability that I found myself inexplicably drawn to a gathering of kindred spirits, fellow travelers who shared a common taste for the ineffable. In the crucible of that alchemical space, I encountered signposts and synchronicities that felt like a direct transmission from the Itself, confirming my deepest intuitions about the nature of the journey.

The power of community cannot be overstated. When we come together with others who share our deepest values and aspirations, we create a resonant field that amplifies the transformative energies available to us. We become mirrors for each other, reflecting back both our blind spots and our highest potential.

In the company of peers, I found myself challenged in ways I never would have been able to confront on my own. My edges were exposed, my mechanisms revealed, and I was given the opportunity to practice a form of honesty and vulnerability. Through this process, I began to peel back the layers of conditioning and identity, oh so calcified, catching ever more expansive glimpses of my true nature.

The Sacred in the Ordinary

One of the central realizations that crystalized for me during this period was that the sacred is not to be found in some distant paradise or after-death state, but is woven into the very fabric of the here and now - moment to moment. It is only by fully embracing the totality of our embodied experience, the full spectrum of human life with all its ecstasies and agonies, that we can begin to access the gold hidden in the dark.

This understanding brought with it a renewed sense of urgency and dedication. I saw with piercing clarity that the Great Work of transformation is not some hobby or side project, but a fundamental reorientation of our being. It requires a commitment to self-honesty, self-observation, self reflection -  a willingness to confront our shadow, and an unwavering devotion to truth at any cost.  

Tawakkul, or absolute trust in the divine, took on new depths of meaning for me. I began to see that surrender is not a meek passivity, but a state of vibrant, dynamic participation in the unfolding of reality. It means showing up fully in each moment, meeting whatever arises with an open heart, and doing the often challenging work of embodying our realizations in the world of form.

The Compass of the Heart

As I continue on this pathless path, I am learning to embrace the fundamental groundlessness and uncertainty of the human condition. Each step forward is a step into the unknown, a leap of faith that demands everything of us while promising nothing in return.  

And yet, even in the midst of the mystery, there are certain touchstones that offer guidance and support. The teachings and practices of the great wisdom traditions provide a framework for understanding and a mirror for self-reflection. The rituals of prayer, meditation, and service act as anchors, tethering us to what is most real and essential.

But perhaps the most trustworthy compass of all is the one that resides within the silent chamber of the heart. In the quiet stillness of our own being, when the clamor of the mind subsides and the veil of separation falls away, we may catch glimpses of a luminous presence, a knowing that transcends the boundaries of the conceptual mind. It is here that we are reminded of who and what we truly are, beyond the limited stories of the ego - while simultaneously seeing the tender and beutiful function of ego.

Learning to attune ourselves to the subtle whisperings of the heart is perhaps the greatest skill we can cultivate on the path. It requires a willingness to let go of our attachment to external authorities and preconceived notions, and to trust the innate wisdom that arises from the depths of our own being.

This is not to say that we should disregard the accumulated knowledge and guidance of those who have walked the path before us. On the contrary, The Traditions offer invaluable maps and signposts for the journey. But ultimately, we must each take responsibility for our own direct experience, testing the teachings against the touchstone of our own inner knowing.

The Paradox of Effort and Grace

One of the great paradoxes of the path is the relationship between effort and grace. On one hand, we are called to exert ourselves fully, to bring all of our resources and capacities to bear on the great work of transformation. We must be willing to do the work of confronting our own resistance, purifying our hearts, and aligning our lives with our deepest values - there is a price to pay here.

At the same time, we must recognize that the ultimate fruition of the path is not something that can be grasped or achieved through our own efforts alone. There is a mysterious and uncontrollable element at play, a factor of divine grace that operates beyond the realm of personal will and intention.

The great spiritual masters have often spoken of the path as a collaborative dance between the human and the divine. We must bring our fullest participation and engagement, while simultaneously surrendering to the greater intelligence that guides the process. It is a delicate balance, one that requires both fierce determination and profound humility.

In my own journey, I have found that the more I am able to let go of my attachment to specific outcomes and timelines, the more I open myself to the workings of grace. When I release my grip on how I think things should unfold, I create space for something much vaster and more intelligent to move through me.

This doesn't mean becoming passive or fatalistic, but rather aligning my own will and efforts with the larger currents of life. It means learning to discern the difference between the ego's grasping and the soul's deeper yearning, and orienting myself toward the latter.

The Role of Practice

One of the ways we can create the conditions for this alignment is through consistent spiritual practice. Whether it be meditation, prayer, chanting, yoga, or any other methodical discipline, regular practice helps to break down the barriers between the conscious and unconscious dimensions of our being.

In my own experience, a committed practice has been indispensable in helping to develop clarity, equanimity, and stability. By regularly turning attention inward and cultivating a state of open, non-judgmental awareness, I have gradually been able to disentangle myself from the habitual patterns of thought and reactivity that obscure my true nature.

Of course, the specific practices and paths will vary for each individual, depending on their unique temperament, background, and inclinations. What matters most is not the particular form, but the sincerity and devotion we bring to the process.

The goal of practice is not to escape from the world or to achieve some exalted state of consciousness, but to fully embody our realization in the midst of our ordinary lives. It is through the alchemical fire of daily practice that we gradually transform our lead into gold, transmuting our baser impulses and egoic tendencies into the pure expressions of our deepest nature.

The Importance of Integration

As we deepen our practice and begin to taste the fruits of realization, it becomes increasingly important to integrate our insights into the fabric of our daily lives. It is one thing to experience profound states of unity and transcendence in the controlled environment of the meditation cushion or the retreat center; it is quite another to embody those realizations amidst the challenges and complexities of the world.

A real test of maturity comes in how we show up in our relationships, our work, and our engagement with the pressing issues of our time. Can we bring the same qualities of presence, compassion, and clarity that we touch in our inner practice into the realm of action and service?

This is the great challenge and invitation of the path - to bridge the apparent divide between the transcendent and the immanent, between the absolute and the relative. It is to recognize that the ultimate nature of reality is not separate from the world of form, but is the very ground and essence of all that arises.

As we continue to walk this path of integration, we may find ourselves called to engage more deeply with the world around us, to bring our unique gifts and insights to bear on the great challenges of our time. We may feel a growing sense of responsibility to be a force for healing and transformation in our communities and in the larger web of life.

At the same time, we must be careful not to fall into the trap of spiritual materialism, using our realizations as a means of bolstering the ego or pursuing worldly gain. Spiritual maturity is a growing humility, a recognition of the vastness of the mystery and our own small place within it.

As I sit with these reflections, I am struck by the utter inadequacy of words to capture the living truth of the journey. At best, these musings can only serve as humble signposts, invitations to let go of the map and discover the territory for oneself.

For in the end, the miracle we seek is not something to be grasped or possessed, but is the very nature of reality itself - the ever-present ground of being that is closer to us than our own breath. Our task is simply to awaken to this fact, to remember the vast and eternal presence that we are, and to live our lives as a unique expression of The Boundless & The Formless.

May we each find our way home, guided by the light of authentic aspiration and the unfailing compass of the heart. And may we have the courage to surrender ever more deeply to the mystery, trusting that even the darkest passages are held in a greater embrace.

Tawakkul 'ala Allah. May these words be more than a mere concept, but a lived reality - a continual offering of our hearts and lives to Oneness of all that is. And may we walk this path together, as a community of lovers and servants, supporting each other and celebrating the radiant uniqueness of every soul.

In gratitude and devotion, let us begin again, here and now. Amin.